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  1. #1
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    Walk Alone...

    Walk alone, walk alone
    The one was with you...
    Have gone, have gone...
    Walk alone, walk alone

    You have to walk like never before,
    You have to fly, not to cry...
    fly like never before.....
    Walk alone, walk alone

    Hey, Friends.
    It my own creation.
    How it is?

    Regards,
    Brijesh Jain
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Connect with me on Skype: jainbrijesh
    Google Plus : jainbrijeshji

  2. #2
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    Re: Walk Alone...

    Not Bad.
    As far as my grammatical knowledge goes,
    "The one was with you...
    Have gone, have gone..." is wrong.

    "The ones who were with you
    Have gone , have gone"

    Or
    "The one who was with you
    Has gone, has gone"
    is right grammatically. ( i ain't no poet, hence I don't know how right it is to break grammer)

    The corerelation between the two paragraphs is bad.
    (I am giving my honest opinion).

    Good effort for a starter I guess.

    -Kalayama

    [COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="2"]"If you are not living on the edge of your life, you are wasting space"[/SIZE][/COLOR]

    Someone says "Impossible is nothing". The man next him says "Let me see you licking your elbow tip!"

  3. #3
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    Re: Walk Alone...

    Madam, thanks for suggestion.
    But when you write a Lyric, there is no grammar.

    I am a lyrics writer also and i know it very well.

    Regards,
    Brijesh Jain
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Connect with me on Skype: jainbrijesh
    Google Plus : jainbrijeshji

  4. #4
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    Re: Walk Alone...

    I ain't no Madam. I am a man.
    Oh! No need of basic grammer too? The one with you - have doesn't make practical sense as one means singular and "have" in this context is plural. May be I am wrong.
    That's why I had mentioned "(i ain't no poet, hence I don't know how right it is to break grammer)"

    May be I shouldn't have ventured into commenting when I didn't have enough knowledge But, that's how we learn

    Anyway, good effort Brijesh.

    Cheers,
    Kalayama

    [COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="2"]"If you are not living on the edge of your life, you are wasting space"[/SIZE][/COLOR]

    Someone says "Impossible is nothing". The man next him says "Let me see you licking your elbow tip!"

  5. #5
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    Re: Walk Alone...

    Try to see the emotions and message behind it.

    Regards,
    Brijesh Jain
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Connect with me on Skype: jainbrijesh
    Google Plus : jainbrijeshji

  6. #6
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    Re: Walk Alone...

    Sorry friend, I misunderstood your name.

    You are right , we learn by our mistakes and others can trace them better.

    Actually I write in hindi only,
    The upcoming movie "Bus Thoda Aur",
    Will be loaded with my lyrics.I hope for movie in coming year(May be near june).

    Regards,
    Brijesh Jain
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Connect with me on Skype: jainbrijesh
    Google Plus : jainbrijeshji

  7. #7
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    Re: Walk Alone...

    That's great news. Will ensure that I check out the lyrics of that movie
    And also, one can't directly traslate Hindi to English as the basic structure of language itself is different

    That's a achievement dude! Kuddos!

    Cheers,
    Kalayama

    [COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="2"]"If you are not living on the edge of your life, you are wasting space"[/SIZE][/COLOR]

    Someone says "Impossible is nothing". The man next him says "Let me see you licking your elbow tip!"

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